Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Boyfriend is a jerk.  One year, after  coming out in cute shorts after the long winter I expected him to say something about finally seeing legs again.  He did comment on them, but only to tell me that my thighs were "much softer" than they had been the summer before.  Supposedly that was a compliment but I'm still confused as to how.

Another thing is that he gets legit mad that I don't like certain foods.  Like not just annoyed that I'm a picky eater, he gets actually angry that I have a slight (ok, maybe I am picky but whatever. I am adult and don't have to eat anything other than what I want to!) preference or distaste for certain foods/textures.

Also, he won't accept me for who I am.  I want him to just finally accept and love me despite that I will never be able to keep my side of the sink clean.  Never.  It just isn't going to happen.  I don't know what my mental block is and why I can't just pick up after myself but if it hasn't happened in our almost eight years living together it really just isn't.

Boyfriend and I are working on towards our ninth anniversary this summer, at this point I've pretty much figured him out and have decided that I can ignore his faults because his good, no great, qualities make up for his relationship infractions.  I love him regardless of how much a jerk he is(and sometimes in the heat of it, I might even use the term "asshole", sorry babe!) because he more than makes up for it the other 99% of the time.

Once we were fighting in the car, I saw an orange on the floor and just yelled at him that I was so angry I could just throw the orange at his head.  I meant it too, if I wasn't worried that my super strength would knock him out while driving I might have thrown it at him 'Rookie of the Year' style.  A few month's later he had done something wrong (because I am always right, duh) and handed me an orange to throw at him for his punishment.  A bigger woman might have not taken the opportunity but I took extreme pleasure in watching that orange bounce off his head.  Of course we both started laughing (after he shed a few courtesy tears for my ego) and all was forgiven.

Growing up my mom always told me that whoever I decide to marry, just make sure he is funny because laughter is what gets you through the times.  I definitely took her advice and while I might be slightly biased, there are going to be several people who agree with me that Boyfriend is one of the funniest people out there.  He did win Most Witty 2002 after all. 

Boyfriend and I don't get to see each other as often as we like.  He works nights and rotating weekends, so with the exception of every other weekend and one night during the week he is in bed when I leave for work and I am in bed by the time he gets home.  Sometimes it is really hard, sometimes I don't mind having all of the TV/bed/eating candy for dinner.  To connect between the times that we see each other, we leave notes in the shower with Baby's bath crayons.  I don't remember how it started but we go back and forth each day.

Another reason he is a jerk-he knows that I am one of the check behind the curtain kind of gals when I am home alone.  So he decides to leave this one up for me one night:

I can tell you, even though I knew he was the one who wrote it, I was still feeling really icky and took the fastest shower I could.  Please ignore the soap scum on my shower head.  I suppose along with keeping my side of the sink clean, my shower head can be added onto that list.

Boyfriend and I don't really "do" Valentine's Day.  I feel like we both take an extreme amount of effort to make sure that we make each other feel special year round and tell each other consistently that we love each other.  Regardless, I wanted to give the special man in my life a shout out because even if I tell him how wonderful he is, I think the world should know too.

So Boyfriend, despite your stinky farts that make me gag, your "compliments", your inability to accept my lack of domestic skills and your overall jerkness I think I will keep you.  You are my jerk after all.


  1. I got to your public blog from the carseat post on FB. Great article btw and nice picture of you! I think we need bath crayons! I was even just looking at them in the store yesterday. What a nice idea :) (melytha)


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