Thursday, March 13, 2014

Cupcakes Can be Controversial

This video has been shared on my Facebook feed approximately thirty billion times.
 Every single person that has reposted it has said something along the lines of, "Future lawyer here" or "This kid is the cutest ever!"  That last one was from my mom, and maybe I was just offended that she was calling a kid cuter than my own but honestly while the kid is cute-I don't find this video charming at all.
I can be really uptight about certain things and too laid back about others so I get that my gut reaction to the video is that I am just being high horsed about it.  That said, I just don't understand why, as a society, we are celebrating a child being blatantly disrespectful to his mother. 

I'm not even considering the fact that he refers to his mom by her first name-I know kids who go through phases.  I even read in an article that the mom has very good reason as to why he is using her first name, she had just taught him their names so that should he ever get lost he knows more than to refer to her only as, "Mom."  She also went on to say that he typically will use, "Mommy" however when he is really trying to get her to listen, that is when the first name comes out.  On a core level, that bugs me, I believe that my daughter should refer to all of my friends with a "Ms." or "Mr." and wouldn't be ok with being called by my first name as a sign to make me really listen, but I also believe in picking your battles.

Also read in the same response from the mother is that she believes in letting her kid have a voice and encourages healthy debate.  Cupcake kid mom-you and I share that belief.  Deep down though, I don't think this is healthy debate.  I spent many, many years working with all ages of children and how they are allowed to act at two, three, four is only the start of how they will continue to act as grown kids and eventually teenagers (and then adulthood).  

My issue with the viral sensation isn't the video itself or even the debate she engages with her child.  I don't judge her parenting-because let's be real.  If someone decided to screenshot 30 seconds of my life on video you would see me tell Baby, "Please pick up that trash that you just threw on the floor" and for her to quickly respond with, "No you pick it up" and walking away.  Picking my battles.

The thing I just can't wrap my mind around is how everyone LOVES this video and just thinks it is most adorable display of kidness ever.  Maybe they are taking the video for face value and assuming it is an isolated incident.  As a mother of a kid around the same age, I am willing to bet this isn't a one time type of argument (not to mention the title of the video gives me a second clue it isn't isolated).  
If the kid was 13 would we all think it is cute because he wants something his mother has decided isn't appropriate?  He isn't magically going to become respectful because he has turned a specific age, and from my admittedly limited experience, I would venture to say it could become worse.

Maybe I just had such a negative reaction because I am so petrified that I am going to raise a snotty kid.  My daughter is so strong willed and opinionated, and I can very easily see her arguing the same way.  If there were to be a video of her having a similar debate, I wouldn't want people to praise her acting that way towards me.  
Or maybe, what my real issue, is that I just really, really feel for the kid because I know that I would be losing my own cool knowing there are cupcakes around and I couldn't eat them.
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  1. I am 100% with you. this is not a good image for how kids should behave and people are calling it cute. i can't even watch this whole video because I just think it's the complete wrong message. totally agree with you!


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