Monday, October 20, 2014

I Don't Do Well With Blood:Blogtober14

Every parent's biggest fear is losing their child, that goes without saying.  Tragically-the mom I look up to and want to emulate in so many ways lost her daughter just after her first birthday.  Her daughter's death forever changed any naivety I had that losing your child isn't an impossibility.  Her loss impacted me greatly.
 
My second greatest fear also involves my children-having one of them getting hurt seriously, which is something that really could happen, especially with my little daredevil .
 

Of course I don't want anything to happen for their own sakes, I never want my children to feel the amount of pain a serious injury would cause.  But I'm also extremely fearful of how well I will be able to take care of them in those stressful and difficult moments.

When Baby was about 14-15 months old she was dancing in our living room.  She did a dance move I can only describe as "dropping it like it's hot" and as she was dropping it, she hit her mouth on the corner of our coffee table.

She immediately started crying so I picked her up and carried her into our kitchen and placed her on the counter so I could survey the damage.  That is when I saw that she was bleeding, and not just a bit but profusely.  There was blood all over her entire face, down her shirt-I couldn't even figure out where the blood was coming from.

I finally located the cut, a very small one on the edge of her lip.  I kissed her head with relief knowing it wasn't anywhere as bad as it looked but the next thing I knew I was one the floor looking up at her sitting on the counter, looking down on me.

I've never had an issue with the sight of blood as far as making me feel faintish, but it has happened a couple of times.  Baby gets nose bleeds often-those don't bother me, it is only the time she is bleeding due to an injury where it seems to impact me.

It isn't just feeling like I am going to pass out from blood that concerns me.  About a month after cutting her lip, she fell and busted her lip and knocked her tooth very, very loose on our bed.  I felt as though I was going to puke trying to open her mouth to see if her tooth had been knocked out.  I almost couldn't do it-but I knew I had no choice.  

The physical toll it took on me made me feel so guilty.  How can I take care of my kids if I'm physically reacting so negatively?  How can I be strong for my kids during one of the times they need me the most?

I want to believe that if either kid has a great injury-a broken leg, or need for stitches, I will be able to put aside my own issues until they are well taken care of.  But I don't have that faith, not with my past experiences.  I just pray that I never have to find out!

Helene in Between Blogtober
 
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1 comment:

  1. ahh blood. i can't deal. I will faint if there's a lot. Or if I have to get mine taken.

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