Friday, July 10, 2015

I've Been Keeping Something From You...

And no, it isn't a pregnancy.  Let's just get that out of the way.

The last three weeks, give or take some days, I have gone from getting two hour (at best) consecutive hours of sleep to anywhere between seven to nine.  Literally life changing.

Sometime after Penny's birthday, after another night of only logging a total of three hours I had finally hit my breaking point.  I had maintained that after her birthday I would night wean her, but I quickly realized there was no slowly dropping one session at a time-this girl had to go cold turkey.

On night one, I told Boyfriend I was going to sleep in the guest room and he could stay with Penny.  I hardly slept because I was convinced I could hear her across the room crying.  The second night I decided to move the baby monitor into the room with them so I could hear her crying.  It wasn't so that I could go help-I was going to leave him to figure it out, but I just needed to know.

That night, she woke up several times but only cried for less than ten seconds and then there was only the white noise from the monitor playing in the background.  Each night that passed, she started to sleep longer and longer periods of time until now where we are-five to six hours for the first chunk and then she still wakes every 50ish minutes crying but falls asleep quickly.

Now that I'm finally getting some sleep, I'm trying to figure out how to do the next step-get her into her own bed.  Well, I'm still trying to get Evelyn into her own bed so our plan is for them to share a bed (for now) like above.  I'm scared to make any drastic changes but I want to be in my own bed again, I want to sneak my cold feet against Boyfriend for warmth.

I sometimes wonder if I really needed to wait as long as I did before night weaning her, I know that is what was causing her to not sleep well.  I don't regret it though and believe I was right in waiting since up until her birthday her main source of nutrition really was milk.  It is just now in the last couple of weeks I have noticed she eats (and dang the girl can eat) more than she does drink milk.

Boyfriend says he is ok with dealing with her wakings.  He often tells me the only last five or so minutes, but in reality it is often less than 30 seconds of her crying.  I know when you are waking often like that it seems much longer but he has this magical ability of falling asleep instantly. I am so appreciative he not only takes Mission:Get Baby to Sleep on without complaints, he is seemingly physically fine.

It's funny, not sleeping was my crutch for everything.  Didn't feel like doing chores-I'm tired!  Going through a drive thru-I don't have the energy to cook! Naps every day-well that still happens but I have never given up my naps.

I'm sure Boyfriend will tell you I'm a better person to be around. I physically feel a million times better, I notice I have some energy again.  My laundry, for the first time in literally years (that literal isn't figurative) is down to a manageable one or two loads.  My house stays picked up, it only takes 45 minutes vs a few hours to have the house guest ready.

Even though a year of no sleep was the almost the hardest physical thing I have ever done (breastfeeding Evelyn comes in first) I don't regret it one bit.  I did what I needed to do for my daughter and I'm proud that I made sure her needs came first, as hard as it was.  I have found myself each morning when Boyfriend brings her to me after her first morning waking (after 5 am) I am excited to see her again, to hold her and kiss her because I missed her snuggly self so much.

Of course, now that I have gone public about this I am positive she will up and change everything but at least I got a couple weeks of sleep, right?


  1. I am so happy to hear this. Honestly, I don't know how moms don't sleep. I'm SURE sleeping is making you nicer :) haha it would make me angry if i wasn't getting enough.


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