Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Twas the Night Before Kindergarten

My baby starts school tomorrow.  I have equally dreaded and looked forward to this and now that we are here I don't know how to feel.

I know the size of your kid doesn't necessarily indicate if they are prepared for something but looking at my teeny, only surpassing the 30 pound mark after a big meal girl just doesn't look like she is ready to start school. 

Despite my hesitations, she is embracing this change with an open heart and mind.  Tuesday night was Meet the Teacher night and as we were walking through the seemingly endless hallways, navigating ourselves from classroom to classrom, it hit me what was about to happen.  Evelyn held my hand tightly and I could tell she was nervous but she was being so brave.

As I predicted, Evelyn struggled with meeting her teachers even though she was so excited to meet them.  She shut down a bit (ok, a lot) and refused to talk or even look their way but of course after we had left she told everyone how nice they were and how much she liked them.  I just hope her teachers (Mrs. A and Mrs. T) recognize what a sensitive soul she is and takes care of her heart.  I know that is a very typical mom thing to say, "My daughter is a special snowflake!!" but she is my precious snowflake and I want only the best for her, as any mom would.

I'm having to put a lot of trust into these two women I know nothing about, and it is hard.  Kindergarten is a formative experience and if she walks away this year with distrust and pain, it will take a lot of work to get her to where we are tonight, on the last eve of her naivety, completely and utterly thrilled to be going to school.

Boyfriend and I both took today off to spend her last day as a non-student (EVER!) together.  We had a wonderful day with a new back to school haircut, lunch at her favorite restaurant (Gloria's), Build a Bear and of course, ending the day at her favorite place-Target.

Throughout the day we would be talking and she would just interrupt our conversation with a, "I'm just SO excited!"  We talked about how to make friends and what types of rules she can expect.  We discussed what she wanted to bring for lunch.  She requested turkey, carrots, celery and strawberries-Michelle Obama would be so proud. 

I mentioned in my Dallas Moms Blog post that one of the things that makes me so nervous is that I am losing what little control I had over her environment.  She is going to be introduced to so many wonderful things, but with that comes the things I don't want her to see or experience.  I know I can't shelter her forever, nor do I want to, but five still feels so young to me.

Before getting her to bed tonight, she had to sign a student commitment form for her school.  We read over each bullet point, and it was an opportunity to discuss how to be a good student and person.  She is inspired and as I type this yelling to me that she is just too excited to sleep.

I don't think either of us will get much sleep tonight, to be honest.  Tomorrow morning, I am going to take a lesson from my strong girl and put on a brave face.  Hopefully I won't cry too much but I did purchase a brand new waterproof mascara, just in case.


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